Did we just become best friends?

wth is a friendshift anyway

Welcome to Friendshift, a brand new home on the internet for me and maybe for you too.

The name should give you a decent idea of what this newsletter hopes to be about: friendships and how they change. But of course it’s a bit more complicated than that.

I’m fascinated with wealth disparity between friends, Facebook Buy Nothing groups and the weirdness of weddings. I want to talk about the lovely mundanity of neighborhood friends and fertility convos when everyone is going Through It. How do you balance differing political beliefs between friends and how do you host a killer party?

I’m Amber — an Aussie who has spent over a decade living in New York City, working as a journalist and editor.

You may know me from my previous newsletter Better Have My Money, an investing newsletter for newbies—and yes I imported my old subscribers over, so if you’re confused on how I got your email, that’s it. All the best writing is happening on Substack and I wanted to rejoin the party rather than feel jealous from the sidelines.

In recent years I’ve been a news and features editor — and led BuzzFeed News’ Internet Culture team until the entire beautiful, talented, hardworking newsroom got demolished.

Before that, I wrote a lot about all the world’s worst things from school shootings, to sexual assault at Sleep No More to 3-year-olds appearing in immigration court (the more things change etc). If you can cast your mind back to the Great Times Square Boob War of 2015, you may know me from when I appeared topless on the front cover of the New York Post.

But it’s been a few years since I wrote something for myself.

In the last year I’ve had a miscarriage, gotten married, covered the U.S election as a news editor, planned and threw a multi-day destination wedding while in the first trimester hell of a second (hilariously unexpected) pregnancy, watched the horrors of world politics, gotten my green card, and am now heavily pregnant in a hot Brooklyn summer trying to plan for our first child in a one bedroom apartment while halfway across the world from my family.

Amid this year of celebration and ups and downs, friendship came to the forefront again and again. I kept thinking about the ways that we build community — what works and what doesn’t. Friendship comes in ebbs and flows; some will know how to celebrate or commiserate and others will have no idea.

Because even when you’re going through a magnificent time, some of your mates are grieving huge losses, or struggling with money, or stuck in a rut. I’ve watched friends go through enormously terrible things in the last year and felt clueless about how to respond beyond a “thinking of you and sending love!!!” text. I want to get better at it and I’m hoping Friendshift can help all of us.

I (probably obviously) do not see myself as a lifestyle influencer who can offer amazing advice about how to be a thoughtful host by building a beautiful tablescape. Bless those people but I am too lazy. Instead, I want to talk to lots of people about the ways they are succeeding in building and maintaining friendships and relationships — and about the things they’re fucking up.

I plan on interviewing lots of people I know—and also a bunch of people I don’t. I’ve put together a list of my dream interviewees and am super keen for name suggestions of people you’d love to hear from too.

My hope has always been that Friendshift starts as a newsletter and branches into real life events. I do plan for this to be a paid newsletter (and lord knows writing takes a lot longer than most people think) but won’t paywall anything initially while I figure it out. A subscription is available now if you want to contribute, and I would be so grateful. I’m not committing to a set timeline, but the plan is for regular posts that are a combination of personal writing, trend stories, and interviews.

If you’re like, girl, I still don’t get what this is about but are you really launching a new publication while in your third trimester? My answer is hell yeah, LFG.

Forward this to all your cutest friends!

Thanks,

Amber